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Dear Introvert

writer. creative soul. black sheep.

Month

February 2014

the white fluff of conformity.

via Pinterest

 It’s easy to lose yourself in a world full of unjust judgments and unrealistic expectations. Being anything outside of what the societal masses deem “normal” could mean facing rejection, maybe every day. Everyone wants to fit in, everyone wants acceptance, even to a small degree. It’s our nature.

That is why you need to remember that there are people out there in this big ‘ol world who will love you for exactly who you are. So take off the mask and find those people. They are the ones who bring out the very best version of your original self. And they want the real you.

Copies are boring. Conformity kills the creative. Average is just.. well.. average. Average doesn’t get noticed. You can’t influence the world by blending into it. Stand out and make your presence known.

Once you figure it out, being yourself becomes effortless. It’s keeping up with the chameleon versions that get difficult to manage. Trust me, I know from personal experience.

You shouldn’t strive to be one of many in the sheep herd, getting lost in the shuffle of white fluff, uniform and unrecognizable, bleating your monotony through grass-stained teeth.

I say: MAKE ME A LION.

You were created under the pretense that there will be only one you. Don’t waste that God given right by morphing and shape shifting into a copycat version of someone else. Authenticity is a dying art.

Everyone is going to judge you in some way, shape, or form. It’s going to happen all of your life. Better to be judged for who you really are, then to not even recognize your own self in the mirror, or worse, be recognized by anyone at all.

Stop giving a shit about what others think about you.

Let them judge.

It’s a long fall from atop their high horse. I hope they tuck and roll.

The person I am today would kill to throat punch the girl I was once was. Back then, that girl should have just worn a jester hat, maybe even a red frilly vest. Hell, throw that bitch a mini accordion. Dance monkey, dance.

Your identity resonates with you for your whole life. It encompasses all that you are within your social life, your family life, and even your professional life. Stay true to you. It means everything. The sooner you find yourself, keep him or her around. You will realize that you are happier and that you stay happy longer, without trying. You and those who love you, the real you, will thank you for it.

If I could go back to Stephanie in the past, I would tell her all that hard work to fake herself: the façade, the theatrics, the circus side show in its entirety, meant nothing. A full-time job of unpaid and strenuous work just to get everyone and anyone to like you.

I cannot believe that as an introvert, I tried so desperately to be a full blown extrovert. This social butterfly who said and did all the right things to avoid being different, to cloak my quirks and my awkwardness, to avoid judgment, to avoid missing out on the party when all along I was missing out on my own life. I couldn’t have been more unhappy.

The same held true for molding myself to fit into career paths I would never love, just to make money, or gain status, or get the approval of others who thought they knew what was best for me, those who couldn’t accept me for who I really was inside and what I really loved to do.

Complete and utter shit show.

Hammering a square peg into a round hole.

An express jet flight to Fakeville.

If they aren’t people out there who dislike you, or don’t understand you, or challenge you, or question your motives, or who have an opinion about your lifestyle, then you’re doing something wrong.

You’re not here to please everyone.

This is why I choose to stay true to who I am, even if it means somebody doesn’t like it. Maybe I won’t make a friend because of it, maybe I won’t land a job because of it, maybe I’ll piss people off temporarily or permanently,  maybe I’ll get obvious judgments disguised in hushed whispers about my choices, my clothing, my alternative lifestyle. But remember, I am a lion.

And a lion doesn’t concern herself with the opinion of sheep.

So I want to know what makes you different my readers. Tell me something about yourself that makes you stand out, something you’re proud to roar out loud.

Revel in your uniqueness. It’s what makes you badass. It’s what makes you free.

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everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.

taken from: http://idealmente.tumblr.com/post/49005407167/the-king-by-tubasa-wings
taken from Pinterest

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.”

Mike Tyson spoke those words.

Shit happens. Unexpected shit happens more. But you’ve got to know your game plan. You’ve got to know your next move. You get hit, what’s your counter move? Unsure? Slow reaction? Caught off guard? Well then what happens next might be your TKO.

You’ve got to be ready for what life has in store for you. You need to kick ass. In order to do that, you might need to hustle. You might need to work one, two, three jobs. You might need to sacrifice. You have to know how to take the hits and keep getting up, keep coming back for more.

Don’t expect all good things to just fall gracefully into your lap or come express delivery to your doorstep by an angel with golden wings riding a purple unicorn who crop dusts a glitter trail of success and good fortune from its ass.

You’ve got to hustle, stick and move. Especially when life graces you with circumstances that make for rocky roads, unbeaten paths, and a light that tends to flicker out when you need it most, when it’s meant to light your way.

This makes me thing of one of my favorite quotes by H. Jackson Brown Jr:

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”

Brown couldn’t be more true. You only die once, you live every single day. Hustle to get to where you want to go, hustle to achieve your dreams, hustle to do the things you love whenever you can, hustle to live life as you choose, despite circumstance. Fuck fate. You make your own destiny. You didn’t choose the life you were born into, but you can take control of the life you live now. Maybe you have to work harder than others. So what? You don’t know the strength of your own capabilities unless you test them.

Push your boundaries.

Fear is only a state of mind. Never let it decide your future. It is nothing more than an obstacle that stands in the way of your progress.

I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become. Remember that.

Fight.

Grow a lion heart.

It’s important to know who you are, where you came from, but ultimately, where you are going. Whose to say you won’t be the next da Vinci, or Thomas Jefferson, or Mother Theresa. We all have the same amount of hours in a day. The scary part is that we all don’t have the same amount of time on this Earth. Make it count. Hard work pays off, even if you have to do more of it than anyone else you know.

If you work hard, good things will come to you. It might be hard to believe that but there are people out there who are living proof of it. Keep a kind heart, don’t let hardship define you or change you in a negative way. Count your blessings, few as they may seem. They still exist, even in darkness.

And remember:

If life punches you in the face hard and unexpected,

get back up,

and countermove that shit.

**P.S. I, dear_introvert, want you to leave a tidbit comment of your favorite inspirational quote or person. Or maybe there is someone or something that motivates you? What is your driving force?!! Please share:: let’s keep the “kick-ass” & the “grab life by the balls” inspiration going!

conversations with my tattoo artist.

/ tattoo shop décor / Image by: dear_introvert
/ tattoo shop décor /
Image by: dear_introvert

Tattoo sessions are hours spent between artist & client.

Between the moments of silence, drown out only by the buzz of the machine, conversations happen.

I’ve found my perfect tattoo artist. His presence is minimal. It reminds me of a calm before the storm. His voice is soft and his manner is professional. These aren’t just tattoos. This isn’t just work. He’s creating art. It just so happens the canvas is my skin. He’s serious and dedicated. I like that shit.

For my first sitting, we spoke a total of 20 minutes. He worked for five hours. Not once did I feel awkward in the shared silence nestled amongst the hum of his needlework. As he inked, a small lamp glowed from atop his forehead, illuminating my inner leg. His canvas. I spent my time peering up at the ceiling, picking animal figures out of the plywood board nailed there. I soaked in his selected artwork displayed on the walls of this alternative office cubicle.

The second sitting I longed for the spark of conversation. I found my comfort zone, ever small but present, so I sought after chasing my curiosity.

A confirmation of  life perspective occurred in those moments.

The specific words exchanged are for me to keep.

I just want to share the perspective.

What motive drives you when the choice is made for your college education? For your career path? If it is money, you’re wrong. You need to choose with your heart, be led by your passion, and the money will follow.

If you do what you love, there is money to be made. Just as much as if you wake up every morning in complete dread, knowing you are on your way to a job you loathe.

What are you willing to exchange for the price?

You love what you do, it is passion. You hate what you do, it is work. It will always and forever be work. There is a way to do what you love and make money at the same time. Realize that sooner than later.

Driven by the almighty dollar, $100,000 in loan debt, and only now do I see the light.

It’s too late to go back. I had to accumulate more debt to get where I truly want to be. A means to an end. If I found a job in my undergraduate field, I don’t think I’d be happy trekking down that forsaken career path.

As a self-proclaimed introvert, why in the hell would I get my MA in Communication Arts you ask? Like I said, a means to an end. A degree in higher education puts flare on my resume. I worked hard to learn everything I could in the world of communication with the time I have to complete this degree.

Do I need to communicate all the time and whip myself into a fake frenzy inside extrovert façade land for the communication professionals folk? No.

I love to write. I love photography. I have an imagination.

I have a passion for the creative side of anything and everything. I love to work and I work hard. If I love what I do, I work harder.

If I can cultivate a career from that, it will be a happy one.

There is an artist. He is passionate about art. He is really, really good at what he does in every medium. Job prospects were bleak, a degree in fine art weighed lightly, choices needed to be made. Give up and chase this almighty dollar through factory production lines? Give in to all the voices condemning an artist’s life to struggle and poverty?

NO.

He found a way.

You find a way.

If you dream it, if you wish it, if you love it, it will come.

Opportunity knocked. And here you sit with your head lamp and a tattoo gun, needling forever ink into my skin canvas with a delicacy only a true artist can acquire. We talk about life. How similar your views are to mine, a confirmation of perspective. You are rich by your own standards. You wake up every day and do what you love.

I only hope to find the same.

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